Wednesday, November 21, 2012

new tomorrow

i'm really excited.
like, the holidays are coming up and i'm actually... really excited. the cold air outside. christmas music playing. all the festive stuff up in stores already. the food. the feeling.
like, i'm excited. i haven't felt this way about this stuff since i was a little kid. i guess i sorta lost the excitement when i got older and things got harder when it comes to holidays... but this year, i feel happy about what's coming and actually want to do stuff and not just sit around and watch it go by. every year.
i guess you could say i'm fixing myself up by saying that whatever happens, i'll be okay.
what do you love about the holidays? favorite memory? feeling?
happy thanksgiving, guys :)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

what it's like

I see him every Sunday. In youth group.

He sits in the very back row with two of my friends, but if they're not there, he sits alone.

I've been in youth group for three years. He has too. I always knew he was there, but I never talked to him. Never really have noticed he was around because he hangs out with the high school girls because the high school guys don't.

He's adorable. A pretty boy. Seems nice, funny, but quiet...

He doesn't talk much. And when he does, you can barely hear him.

I talked to him once. This past August. At VBS. My friend who usually hangs out with him every Sunday was talking to him, but she left. I thought he'd leave because I didn't think he would be interested in talking to me, but he stayed. And he did talk to me. We talked about music.

I think he likes music. Because every time I see him sitting alone, he's got his earplugs in. Listening. Hood up, and he's gone.

But ever since that day we talked, I notice when he walks in the room. He notices when I am there. But I am too scared to go up and say "hi" to him. So what we do is we wave at each other. I see him when he walks in the room and I wave. He sees me, and he waves. He doesn't say "hi" either, but he's so quiet, he doesn't say much anyway.

I play piano on the worship team in my youth group and from where I am, I can see him sitting there in the back row. He watches me and listens... because he likes music, I think.

Last week, I was standing by the entance of church, when I saw him leave. I had people surrounding me, trying to tell me stuff, when I saw him look at me one last time and go. With his dad, out the door and he was gone.

I never see his mom.