Thursday, August 30, 2012

let it go.

let it go.
When people have prayed for me before, a lot of times it goes along the lines of letting go. Letting go of what has happened to me in my past. Letting go of the hurt and moving on because...when I move on there's something big waiting for me. But I haven't been able to let go. It's almost seemed impossible. Let it go, let it go, let it go... But it's like, my past is all I've ever known. If I let go, I feel like I'm losing something. 
let it go.
I woke up this morning and the first words I get it my head are, "Let it go." I was reading a book a few days ago and the guy in the book said, "Let it go." I have this one line in a song stuck in my head and it's, "Let it go."
I'm getting tired. Tired of holding on to the past, my past. I'm tired, tired, tired. For so long I've held onto it like a security blanket, even though I really do hate some of the stuff that's happened to me. I've wanted to let go, but I haven't been able to. I want to. I want to.
let it go.
There's gotta be something more. More than this. There's gotta be something to hope for. I don't want to keep falling back into the past. I hate that place. That sad place where the bad memories start rushing back. I don't want it anymore. There's gotta be something more. More, more more...
let it go.
Yeah, sure the past is my past. But I don't want it to label me. Not anymore. It's time to deal with problems. My friend, McKenna, gave me this picture of a forest. From the outside it looks like this huge forest but each, individual tree is just a tree. Not as strong as you think. Each tree is a problem and one by one, it won't be that hard to knock it down. Goodbye problems.
let it go.
take that first step. C'mon. There's so much more than what you're going through. Hold onto what's coming than what's happened. What's coming has so much more in store for you. So much more. Good things will happen. You have so much more potential in you. You're worth it. Stop telling yourself that you're not.
just let it go. let it go. you'll be okay. safe.
favorite song right now :)

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

goodbye summer...

Summer is gone and done. I am so sad! I feel like this summer came and went soo fast - too fast. Like it was all a blur. I had finals, then boom! Crazy summer. Doing stuff everyday, every week. I think there was only one week that I did completely nothing. Yeah, one week. Probably the best week of my summer. ha :) Remember the list I made of things I wanted to do during these two months? (check out list here) Well, this is what really happened...
  • Go places. That I did. A lot. I just went up to Sacramento to see my grandma. I went to Mexico. Lake Tahoe. Yosemite. And some other places, I think.
  • Shop. Yes! I went shopping a lot when my cousin Hannah came down for a week. She loves shopping (I mean, loves) so we also went down to the...
  • LA Fashion District. So much fun.
  • Sleeping in. Sadly, that didn't happen a lot. There were so many things I was doing that I didn't really get the chance to sleep in late... Buuummmmmmer.
  • Friends. I didn't get the chance to hang out with all my friends either this summer. Let down. Though a lot of the stuff I did, my friends did too, so we'd get to hang out while we were doing stuff, like helping out with VBS.
  • Take pictures. I did a lot of that! I don't know why I haven't posted any of them yet, Emma. And I've been going to so many places. Geez. I should have this humongous post with all of them to make up. Though at the moment (and this whole past year) my computer's been having this long, slow uploading a lot of pictures has been rather a problem. Poop.
  • Read The Hobbit. That didn't happen. Barely at all. (I'm sorry, McKenna!! I'm sorry) I almost finished the first chapter and then I was done. I know, I know. My friend McKenna will probably force me to listen to her read it out loud because she loves it so much. haha In the meantime, I'm going to make this a life goal. Hopefully I'll read this book before I die. Hopefully...... I did read a few books though. It's called The Charmed Life series and I love them.
 <---- it was that one. It's a series of three and this copy has all three in one. Pretty snazzy looking, I must say.
All in all, hello school and


Friday, August 17, 2012

right now.


So, I'm actually out of town right now... and will be for another week. A week right before I'm back in school and all that jazz. Meh.  But, hey, I'm at my grandma's house... and I love my grandma. :) In a few days, we're planning on a going on a short trip somewhere, so if I happen to take any decent pictures, I'll try and post them up here so you can see where I've been. 

In the meantime... 

I went to see "Snow White and the Huntsman" this afternoon... I really liked it. :) Favorite line: You can't have my heart. That was the best. Love, love, LOVE. In the credits they played a song by one of my favorite singer peoples (or whatever you want to call her.. ;) and so, personally, I think you should listen to it. Right now.

  Mmk? Thanks. ;)

Oh, and have you heard this new song yet? Yup, it's by the lovely Taylor Swifty and even though I'm not a huge Taylor Swift fan, I like it. It's pretty cool beans, I must say. 

Anywho, what's been you favorite song lately? Leave the link to it and I'll listen to it. :)

;) emma 

Friday, August 10, 2012


i've been trying to figure out who i am.

and it's so hard. I don't know how many times its happened to me when someone will say something to me that really hurts. Automatically in my head, I think that what they're pointing out about me is a flaw. Because if it's so's bad?

I'm really white. Like, my skin could glow in the dark (okay, maybe not..but still). And so, people will tell me stuff like, "Anyone compared to you, Emma, is tan."  

or they'll tell me that i have bony shoulders.

or a weird voice.

or a smile that isn't as good as hers.

or that i look so lost that i could just "blow away" in the wind.

So...what do I do? I...I get really, really insecure. Sometimes I avoid talking about some things just because I don't want those people to judge I don't have to feel bad about whatever it is...even if it's really stupid.

or i just try to cover it up. whatever they said about me, i try to hide.

And I don't think people realize that what they say - can stick with a person for a long time.. a really long time.  So to all of us who have been put down by these sort of things - we're facing a challenge. I know - you think about all the negative stuff people have told you,  and it's so easy to believe. It's so easy to convince yourself\myself to try and change. To change for someone else. I believe what people say. I do. I do all the time, but I don't want to anymore. 

But I don't want to anymore, cause c'mon -  

You have no idea how lovely you are.

It's time to say "no". No to all that crappy stuff and just say that you are lovely. Lovely, lovely, lovely...

you are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
-song of songs 4:7-


Thursday, August 9, 2012



"Hold onto me as we go...

as we roll down this unfamiliar road...
and although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone.

Cause I'm gonna make this place you're home.

Settle down, it'll all be clear,
Don't pay no mind to the demons...
Cause they'll fill you with fear,

The trouble it might drag you down,
if you get lost,
you can always be found.

Just know you're not alone...
cause I'm gonna make this place your

-'home' by phillip phillips-


Thursday, August 2, 2012

7 Questions

Today, I'm linking up with the lovely Gentri Lee for this week's 7 questions! Her blog is adorable - you can check it out here. :) So, here goes...

(this is random, I know. sorry \source/)

1. It's the first day of August- Are you savoring the Summer or ready to jump into Fall?
I don't feel like I've actually had an actual summer life right now is like a blur to me. But, I really do want to jump into fall. I love the cold... the time where you have to wear jeans and sweatshirts and all that awesome fall stuff. :)

2. You need a quick and healthy meal, what do you make?
Um. I eat... I don't know.

3. You're at the mall, how do you shop?
When I go to the mall, I usually look around in a few stores and if I really, really, really like the item and it has a good price, I buy it. That's how I roll.

4. Would you rather buy a new house or renovate an old one?
You know...I'm not sure. I think I'd want to renovate an old one, just because I like old houses and then I could add my own style to it and stuff.

5. Long hair or short hair?
Since I have to pick one, I'd pick long. Though I like a length somewhere in between long and short.

6. Who is your oldest (not by age) friend?
I'd say...I think Kaitlin and McKenna.

7. What is your favorite blog- currently?
Busy Bee Lauren. You should check it out.


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

emma stone & andrew garfield

So......these people are the most perfect couple of all time. Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield. Let's all just take a moment and look at the picture above. Notice the smile. Yes, yes. And then notice Emma Stone and him all together. ............I can't take it. So...I've been slightly obsessed, okay?

I just saw "The Amazing Spiderman" a few weeks ago and, personally, I thought it lived up to it's title completely. It was seriously amazing. I could and still can not get enough of it. Although, I've heard a lot of people say that it wasn't as good as the Tobey Maguire versions...I loved it and honestly, I think this Andrew Garfield version was way better. I think the movie totally captured Spiderman's jokey personality and just Peter Parker was...amazing. So okay, I love Andrew Garfield...I'm sorry.. ;)
And then there's Emma Stone. My favorite actor right now. I heard some people say they didn't think she did a good job in the Amazing Spiderman but I thought she did great. I also loved her other movie, "The Help." Maybe you watched it...if you didn't, you should. It's like... ah, so good. Tell me when you watch the Help, mmk? Plus, she is so pretty! I can't take it. Can I please look like her?   
So, um, this is Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield...

And this is me.

Now here is just some random stuff I have been obsessing over because of this Andrew Garfield guy.

Have you seen the Amazing Spiderman? Please, if you have, tell me... I'd love to hear what you think. Oh, and especially what you think of Andrew jrlasdkfjas;ldkjf Garfield k;adlskfajslkdfja. Okay? I'm done now. Bye.