destiny

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The word "destiny" gets me every time. Destiny.

I have no idea why. I randomly heard it somewhere a few weeks ago...in a song or someone said it, and it really hit me. Every time I hear it, I become blank. Really quiet. Because when I heard it a few weeks ago, I realized what it meant for the first time. I have a destiny. I never knew that before.

You hear in church, "God's given you a future," or "God's writing out your story," or "God's got a plan for you."  But I've never heard, "God's given you a destiny." God's given you a destiny. 

I've had a lot of hard stuff happen to me over the past year, and when I was going through the motions of figuring out problems, wondering what's going to happen next, and just figuring out life itself for me, I lost sight that I have a purpose. That I have a reason. That I'm not nothing. That I have a destiny.

Lately, everything just seems quiet. Everything in my life, just quiet. When this year started, I got the word "change." That this year, for me, would have lots of changes. And, so far, they're definitely has been. One by one, things have started changing. Especially the people in my life. And that one has been one of the hardest things for me...watching almost all of my friends change. Some, in a good way and some are just getting...weird. It's sorta like this haze setting in, where I wonder who Emma is. While all of my friends are going to different places and becoming different people, I'm just trying to find my place in the world. Just trying to figure out who I am.

I was sitting on my bed last night  (it was probably like 11:30) and I was thinking about this. My friends. The coming school year because there's going to be a big change. And then I got this picture. You know that moment, when you're looking at the ocean (I hate the ocean, so I don't know why...Zuma sucks. Let's just leave it at that.) and it's that quiet moment? Right before the waves come in. The waves are forming but they haven't rolled over. That's what right now is. The quiet moment - when you know the wave is coming, that it's forming, but it hasn't crashed yet.


Meanwhile, Jesus has been telling me "You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay." The first time I heard it, I was like, "Yeah...no. No. That's not happening." I mean, seriously people. You go through a bunch of junk and then somebody says, "You're going to be okay." I am usually like, "I am NOT okay! Things will NEVER be OKAY!!"


Destiny.

He gave me a destiny. He gave you a destiny. I love the fact that God's given us a place where we end up sooner or later in our life. The place that God created purposely just right for you. A place only you were created perfectly to fill in. So amazing. You have a destiny, and don't ever forget that. You have a place in this big, humongous world. And guess what...you're going to be okay after it and through it all. You're going to be okay.

Emma