like, the holidays are coming up and i'm actually... really excited. the cold air outside. christmas music playing. all the festive stuff up in stores already. the food. the feeling.
like, i'm excited. i haven't felt this way about this stuff since i was a little kid. i guess i sorta lost the excitement when i got older and things got harder when it comes to holidays... but this year, i feel happy about what's coming and actually want to do stuff and not just sit around and watch it go by. every year.
i guess you could say i'm fixing myself up by saying that whatever happens, i'll be okay.
what do you love about the holidays? favorite memory? feeling?
He sits in the very back row with two of my friends, but if they're not there, he sits alone.
I've been in youth group for three years. He has too. I always knew he was there, but I never talked to him. Never really have noticed he was around because he hangs out with the high school girls because the high school guys don't.
He's adorable. A pretty boy. Seems nice, funny, but quiet...
He doesn't talk much. And when he does, you can barely hear him.
I talked to him once. This past August. At VBS. My friend who usually hangs out with him every Sunday was talking to him, but she left. I thought he'd leave because I didn't think he would be interested in talking to me, but he stayed. And he did talk to me. We talked about music.
I think he likes music. Because every time I see him sitting alone, he's got his earplugs in. Listening. Hood up, and he's gone.
But ever since that day we talked, I notice when he walks in the room. He notices when I am there. But I am too scared to go up and say "hi" to him. So what we do is we wave at each other. I see him when he walks in the room and I wave. He sees me, and he waves. He doesn't say "hi" either, but he's so quiet, he doesn't say much anyway.
I play piano on the worship team in my youth group and from where I am, I can see him sitting there in the back row. He watches me and listens... because he likes music, I think.
Last week, I was standing by the entance of church, when I saw him leave. I had people surrounding me, trying to tell me stuff, when I saw him look at me one last time and go. With his dad, out the door and he was gone.
Hello, my dears! I saw this post on Busy Bee Lauren a few weeks ago and I thought I'd bring it here... So, wondering what's up? Here's life:
currently, I amsnackingon this:
[halloween candy. oh my goooooooooooooo---]
currently, I am smelling this:
**my house.**
currently, I am listening to this:
[Viva la Vida. An amazing album by my favorite band of all time, Coldplay. I love all their albums, but this one happens to be one of my favorites. It is seriously beautiful and I love listening to it in the morning...or when I feel sad because this music makes me feel so much better.]
currently, I am reading this:
[I can't seem to read a book because there are so many I want to read that I don't have. So I have been sort of rereading a lot of the books I love and own. Like, right now I'm debating if I should reread the Hunger Games. Geez. Anywho, these books are the ones I really would like to read. Erg.]
currently, I am thinking about this person:
[His name is Jackson, but they call him Jack. I barely know him, but I do know who he is now. I met this little person at a park by my grandma's house when I was there this summer. In August. There was a jazz concert going on at the park, so the whole grass field was filled with people. Including him and I think his... grandma? He kept on coming up to me and throwing ping pong balls at me. He was adorable. I took a picture of him because I wanted to remember him. I wonder how he is now. His ...grandma... told me he had just learned to walk. I wonder how much he has learned now.]
If I could tell you anything...anything at all, I would tell you that lately everything seems quiet and just....lonely. So many people that I've called my friends for so long are slowly...drifting away I guess. But the sad part is...is that I've told myself over and over again that they were really there for me, that they weren't fake, and as I've started to pull away from them I've realized they haven't really ever been there for me. They didn't even notice I'm gone. That I'm missing.
I've always been the sort of person who watches from the oustide looking in. I've seen a lot of different people and have seen them go by.
I'm such a loner. Going to try and find a new crowd. In the meantime... hello reader, whoever you are.
Hello, I'm Emma and I have the most boring blog ever.
There's probably no one reading this right now... that should be like, my blog motto. There's no one reading this. Yup. It's just me and my blog, having a big party time. Woop, woop... I know, I don't post a lot. I have a boring life, or at least that's what I think, and so it might not be true. So most times when I try to write something up it ends up in clicking delete, delete, delete because it's just...nothing.
So hello reader, if you are one. If there is one. I'm gonna write something today.
Something called...awkward moments. For example, I saw this today on tumblr and it pretty much sums up my life.
so today i talked to a cute boy
and asked him what kind of pasta he liked
haha Exactly. Like yesterday I was at some place I'm not going to tell you and this guy walks by with thee Andrew Garfield HAIR.
Mmmhm. My friend says when stuff like this happens, I stare. No, not true. I stare with style and class. I observe. And besides, he does have good hair. It's so good I'm making it the title of this boring post. And plus putting that gif of Emma Stone confirming all of this random stuff.
You get what I'm saying? Anybody?
Anyway, this all I have to say. I know, it's stupid and I'll probably delete this soon, but these are my random thoughts at the moment...enjoy?
When people have prayed for me before, a lot of times it goes along the lines of letting go. Letting go of what has happened to me in my past. Letting go of the hurt and moving on because...when I move on there's something big waiting for me. But I haven't been able to let go. It's almost seemed impossible. Let it go, let it go, let it go... But it's like, my past is all I've ever known. If I let go, I feel like I'm losing something.
let it go.
I woke up this morning and the first words I get it my head are, "Let it go." I was reading a book a few days ago and the guy in the book said, "Let it go." I have this one line in a song stuck in my head and it's, "Let it go."
I'm getting tired. Tired of holding on to the past, my past. I'm tired, tired, tired. For so long I've held onto it like a security blanket, even though I really do hate some of the stuff that's happened to me. I've wanted to let go, but I haven't been able to. I want to. I want to.
let it go.
There's gotta be something more. More than this. There's gotta be something to hope for. I don't want to keep falling back into the past. I hate that place. That sad place where the bad memories start rushing back. I don't want it anymore. There's gotta be something more. More, more more...
let it go.
Yeah, sure the past is my past. But I don't want it to label me. Not anymore. It's time to deal with problems. My friend, McKenna, gave me this picture of a forest. From the outside it looks like this huge forest but each, individual tree is just a tree. Not as strong as you think. Each tree is a problem and one by one, it won't be that hard to knock it down. Goodbye problems.
let it go.
take that first step. C'mon. There's so much more than what you're going through. Hold onto what's coming than what's happened. What's coming has so much more in store for you. So much more. Good things will happen. You have so much more potential in you. You're worth it. Stop telling yourself that you're not.
So, I'm actually out of town right now... and will be for another week. A week right before I'm back in school and all that jazz. Meh. But, hey, I'm at my grandma's house... and I love my grandma. :) In a few days, we're planning on a going on a short trip somewhere, so if I happen to take any decent pictures, I'll try and post them up here so you can see where I've been.
In the meantime...
I went to see "Snow White and the Huntsman" this afternoon... I really liked it. :) Favorite line: You can't have my heart. That was the best. Love, love, LOVE. In the credits they played a song by one of my favorite singer peoples (or whatever you want to call her.. ;) and so, personally, I think you should listen to it. Right now.
Mmk? Thanks. ;)
Oh, and have you heard this new song yet? Yup, it's by the lovely Taylor Swifty and even though I'm not a huge Taylor Swift fan, I like it. It's pretty cool beans, I must say.
Anywho, what's been you favorite song lately? Leave the link to it and I'll listen to it. :)
